Twitaceous Era 33: Other people's bodies must work differently

This week on my Twitter feed: Some stuff.

@stevenperkins I usually don't know what I'm having for dinner while I'm eating it. We can't all be good cooks.
RETWEET 1
11:14 AM - 22 Oct 2014

The many face of Nicole Shitsinger: http://www.whatsonstage.com/london-theatre/news/nicole-scherzinger-cats-photos_36232.html #doesnthavetherange
11:04 AM - 24 Oct 2014

I see there's a new series of "Russell Howard plays last year's viral videos then shouts them back at you."
12:31 PM - 24 Oct 2014

Avoid the Brixton area, I currently have pretty epic windypops that could well be toxic.
10:35 PM - 24 Oct 2014

Why yes boys, I AM available.
10:35 PM - 24 Oct 2014

@Weez I always want to sing "Whoa, Uncle Vanya" to the tune of "Whoa, 'ave a banana," which probably isn't helping me take it seriously.
12:08 PM - 25 Oct 2014

Oh, Nick Blood's in Agents of SHIELD now? *enthusiasm restored*
12:24 PM - 26 Oct 2014

How can you have a pre-show fag then go on stage and do backflips? Other people's bodies must work differently to mine #intervaltweets
4:31 PM - 26 Oct 2014

"We have to stay away from women before the big game!" I... I kinda have a feeling you won't find that too difficult.
5:34 PM - 26 Oct 2014

Oh dear, I suppose Thom Evans will just have to go back to getting his cock out now. #strictly
RETWEET 1
8:01 PM - 26 Oct 2014

Samuel Anderson and Toby Wharton in State Red at Hampstead: http://www.hampsteadtheatre.com/whats-on/2014/state-red/
RETWEET 1
10:33 AM - 27 Oct 2014

Paddington https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B09E08oCIAAnHaK.jpg:large
12:41 PM - 27 Oct 2014

I was already looking forward to ’Tis Pity, now it turns out they "auditioned" stage blood for the best consistency http://gu.com/p/42mbv/tw
2:50 PM - 28 Oct 2014

In a Shock!Twist! it seems LiLo's actually turned up but Schiff hasn't #speedthelindsays
7:59 PM - 28 Oct 2014