Dick Twittington 30: No effect on me

This week on my Twitter feed, booking theatre tickets gets tricky.

"Ohmygod a banjo!" says the girl sitting behind me. And it wasn't even @Weez #intervaltweets
9:08 PM - 3 Oct 13

Today's Evil Corporate lunch was venison medallions. THAT'S BAMBI BURGERS TO YOU! #Itoldyouitwasevil
2:54 PM - 4 Oct 13

This week since our manager quit has been our most efficient ever. Do try to look surprised.
5:49 PM - 4 Oct 13

Usher is surprised that audience is queuing for a show with unreserved seating. Does she not know what country she's in?
7:39 PM - 4 Oct 13

I don't think Gunnar Cauthery's ever worked in an office, he's not very good at doing up his tie #intervaltweets
1 FAVORITE
8:58 PM - 4 Oct 13

@emslj I mean...sometimes I have to do it again cause the length's gone skewiff, but that was...SOMEHOW SQUARE.
1 FAVORITE
11:02 PM - 4 Oct 13

Harry Hepple in an open shirt playing electric guitar definitely had no effect on me. Nope. #intervaltweets
9:03 PM - 5 Oct 13

Sleb Spot: Reba from off of Beautiful People being a groundling #slut
9:05 PM - 5 Oct 13

#heppletattoo. #teamcumberbus. Jigging. In their pants. That is all.
10:23 PM - 5 Oct 13

The evil corporate internet connection is deathly slow today. It took me AN HOUR to book Young Vic tickets.
11:06 AM - 7 Oct 13

Hmmm. Now it seems the Young Vic may have charged me and not actually registered the booking...
12:00 PM - 7 Oct 1

You can all get excited about Matt Smith, I'll just get aroused in advance about the Aldridge/Bailey/Skinner trifecta #AmericanPsycho
12:49 PM - 7 Oct 13

Right then, @youngvictheatre has charged me (twice) via the website but still not booked my tickets. #onhold
2:46 PM - 7 Oct 13

Big sign: "HOUSE FULL!" Me: "So you can take a returned ticket?" Box Office: "Er, well it's not COMPLETELY full..." #marketing
6:56 PM - 7 Oct 13

Seriously, you don't need to rearrange your arms into a different position with every word you say #intervaltweets
8:46 PM - 7 Oct 13

It's bipolar awareness day? Pfft, it usually only takes five minutes with me for people to be aware I'm bipolar.
1 RETWEET
9:51 AM - 8 Oct 13

Today's new tune on the world's smallest violin: "If I don't get a new laptop earlier than everyone else, I'm going to fail my exams!"
1:46 PM - 8 Oct 13

I feel like the Oenophiles didn't put enough thought into how their name would sound when spoken quickly #onlyconnect
3:07 PM - 8 Oct 13

Theatrical Spot: David Caves and Lisa Dillon 'avin' a fag outside the Almeida #shrewish
7:20 PM - 8 Oct 13