Bruno Mars is an abomination. Not apropos anything, it just bears mentioning now and then.
10:05 AM - 3 Apr 13
When did "customer service" become a euphemism for glorified chugging?A job interview that wasn't a waste of time would be a nice change ta.
2:45 PM - 3 Apr 13
Victoria. Um, something a bit rude seems to be going on in the middle there. http://twitpic.com/cgpy2n
1 FAVORITE
6:08 PM - 3 Apr 13
Biffy Clyro are playing the O2. Matt Cardle's chained himself up outside and is having a crywank.
6:34 PM - 3 Apr 13
@merseytart And this is why I refuse to watch The Wire, as it apparently results in an inability ever to shut the fuck up about it.
3:18 PM - 4 Apr 13
@merseytart I did relent and watch my friend's copy of Breaking Bad Season 1. I think he was mortally offended when I said it was "not bad."
3:23 PM - 4 Apr 13
Between the cold and the depression I've spent much of today in the foetal position.
6:29 PM - 5 Apr 13
Headlong's Chimerica's going to star Stephen Campbell Moore and Claudie Blakley.
6:54 PM - 5 Apr 13
And I'm sure NOBODY on my list will want to see Allam and Morgan rehearsing The Tempest http://www.officiallondontheatre.co.uk/news/backstage-pass/gallery/article/item180231/in-rehearsals-the-tempest/
1 RETWEET
6:56 PM - 5 Apr 13
I analysed a couple of different blog posts; mostly I'm H.P. Lovecraft but occasionally I'm Douglas Adams http://iwl.me/s/147eabd8
1 FAVORITE
7:42 PM - 5 Apr 13
I enjoyed last night's "naked Greg Rutherford" dream. The "naked Patrick Stewart" one that followed it, less so.
2:14 PM - 6 Apr 13
I got my hair cut at a different barber's today. I guess when I see @Barcles on Monday he can tell me if that was a terrible mistake.
3:05 PM - 6 Apr 13
I still can't tell if #dollhouse's "stick a wig on an asian woman and they all look the same" scene is racist or *wry commentary* on racism.
5:07 PM - 6 Apr 13
Also, I sympathise with DeWitt. I'd abuse my power as well if I could have a go on Enver Gjokaj.
5:08 PM - 6 Apr 13
Right then, let's see if you can help make this week's #thevoice halfway bearable, Twitter. Tall order, I know.
7:02 PM - 6 Apr 13
Jessie got boosebumps and she pressed her button. AND THEN SHE TURNED HER CHAIR ROUND etc etc #thevoice
7:06 PM - 6 Apr 13
As sob stories go, "my mother, WHO IS A CLINICALLY INSANE MICHAEL BOOB-LAY FAN" is at least original. And pretty harrowing #thevoice
7:17 PM - 6 Apr 13
They're not exactly desperate to get him, are they? "If you join my team, you can do more of the same." #thevoice
7:27 PM - 6 Apr 13
"So what happened to the model in that video?" "Let's just say it's not just horse in that lasagne." #thevoice
7:30 PM - 6 Apr 13
Danny thinks she actually sang the Meatloaf parts. Bless. #thevoice
7:34 PM - 6 Apr 13
"Everyone in Wales knows Tom Jones. Biblically." #thevoice
7:43 PM - 6 Apr 13
You are NOT called "Smith and Jones." You are called "Smones" and you know it. #thevoice
7:44 PM - 6 Apr 13
How about you LOLariously only put one through, like Max and Twinnielee last year? #thevoice
7:45 PM - 6 Apr 13
Incidentally, I'm still waiting for Max to turn up in a fringe musical in his pants. My patience is not infinite. #thevoice
7:46 PM - 6 Apr 13
"Am I too picky?" You've got like, two places left in your team and it's only the second show, so maybe not Jessie. #thevoice
7:52 PM - 6 Apr 13
"You sound like so many people I listen to, and that's rare." Have a look back over that sentence of yours, Jessica. #thevoice
7:56 PM - 6 Apr 13
"I can't stop thinking about Liam, I think I've fallen in love." Not sure you're his type, Jessie. #thevoice
7:59 PM - 6 Apr 13
Kym Mazelle was obviously in on it, like Kerry Ellis last year. They paid her in bottles of Taboo. #thevoice
8:07 PM - 6 Apr 13
I'm pretty tired of hearing about Danny's hairy arms now. #thevoice
8:09 PM - 6 Apr 13
"I'm going to text some of the lads in U2. They've never replied yet, but The Edge SWORE it was his real number." #thevoice
8:12 PM - 6 Apr 13
"Come back next year. 'Cause this show is totally going to still be going then." #thevoice
8:16 PM - 6 Apr 13
"Tom's ecstatic to be stuck with a woman who couldn't choose despite having had a year to think about it." #thevoice
8:29 PM - 6 Apr 13
Jessie just can't figure out why her team is always completely made up of The Gays and not women. #thevoice
8:30 PM - 6 Apr 13
One day of Spring-like weather and my hayfever kicks in. ONE day. #fuckryingoutloud
6:44 PM - 7 Apr 13
Oh, I see Coveney's back and telling us why Richard Grifiths didn't deserve to have the lights dimmed for him.
9:25 AM - 8 Apr 13
@Elsiebrewster His argument seems to be "he wasn't as good as Olivier." Inasmuch as he ever has an argument, obvs.
11:11 AM - 8 Apr 13
How many deep is the queue to shit on her grave? Asking for a friend.
1 FAVORITE
1:02 PM - 8 Apr 13
Gloating's a valid response. Doesn't hurt the current govt to know that contempt for the living leads to contempt when you die.
1:44 PM - 8 Apr 13
How many politicians would want their "legacy" to be street parties to celebrate their passing?
1:45 PM - 8 Apr 13
Breaking news: New private room in Hell to feature glass of milk permanently just out of reach.
1 FAVORITE
5:35 PM - 8 Apr 13
Jeez, Crossrail's turned this bit of Charing Cross Road into a scary wasteland.
6:49 PM - 8 Apr 13
I haven't theatred in 3 days, think I've forgotten how. WHICH WAY AM I SUPPOSED TO FACE???
7:17 PM - 8 Apr 13
@Elsiebrewster @Weez the Phoenix has row letters sideways or not at all. USEFUL.
7:28 PM - 8 Apr 13
Who doesn't love ushers who constantly clomp over creaky floorboards, eh? #intervaltweets
8:54 PM - 8 Apr 13
"Queen will attend Thatcher funeral." I hope they do Another One Bites The Dust.
7:10 PM - 9 Apr 13
Potato plays always seem to come in groups.
9:00 PM - 9 Apr 13
Anyone want to come with me to Children of the Sun on Weds 17th? £12 ticket going spare.
11:17 PM - 9 Apr 13
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